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Steps to a Great First Date

There are many factors to consider when choosing what a good first date to date should include. Whether you’re just starting to date or you’ve been on plenty of dates, here are five key parts to a great first date.

1. A plan

A good first date should be planned before you even leave your house. If you’re going to a movie, try to find something that you can both enjoy. If you’re going for drinks, have a few cocktails on hand that you can work into the conversation.

Having a plan will keep you on track and help avoid unnecessary frustration from finding out the date has already gone well before you arrive. And if things don’t go so well, you’ll have some great cocktail conversation to fall back on.

2. Be early

I know it’s not always possible to be on time, but try your best to be early. We’re not talking about that kind of early where you arrive twenty minutes before the show starts, but on the 5-10 minute variety.

By being early, you’ll get a lot of in-and-out time. You’ll get the chance to mingle, you’ll get to compare a couple of drinks, and you’ll have a chance to get a sense of the vibe from the beginning. Being on time for a first date is a better move than being late, as it means you’ve already spent time with your date to get to know them, and is a sign of good planning and anticipation.

3. Order food

Okay, this isn’t always possible, but if you can’t order food on the first date, then I’m impressed and I just want to grab a beer and watch the game on your computer. Most people can’t be in a relationship with someone who isn’t also eating. If you’re dating at the restaurant, it’s a great way to break the ice, and if you’re eating at a bar, it’s a great way to keep the conversation going.

Not ordering food is the equivalent of deciding to not drink with someone, and if you’re going to be spending a lot of time with a person, the last thing you want to do is offend them. If you can’t order food, start with a couple of appetizers, then as you start getting along, introduce the main course. If you’re feeling brave, order dessert.

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Making Good Conversation

It’s obvious that you’re not going to meet your love at the club or at a bar with your friends—at least not yet—and picking up the conversation with a stranger is daunting, but it’s a necessary part of the dating process, so start at the beginning: making conversation. You’ll be glad you did.

It is possible that the first few dates will simply be for introductory conversation. Sometimes, it’s easiest to establish that you’re not weirdo, or an expert on any topic, by talking about what you know. But any small talk you get into will probably help get over the hurdle of having to start talking about yourself.

By talking about things that are easy to relate to, you’re giving yourself a way to connect with others, which is the best way to establish common interests. If you’re not very good at talking about yourself, but you’re an excellent listener, it’s even better to talk about others than to talk about yourself. Get people to open up.

So, if you’re a bookworm, ask your date about their interests:

“Do you enjoy reading? What’s your favorite?”

If your date is into music, ask them about their favorite bands and albums:

“What are your favorite bands?”

“How about your favorite albums?”

If you’re both into art, you could talk about art museums and galleries:

“What’s your favorite museum?”

“What would you consider the best museum ever?”

“Have you been to a lot of museums?”

“Have you seen any art that you really liked?”

“What’s your favorite work of art?”

“What’s your favorite style of art?”

“What do you like about art?”

If you have something you really love, you could also talk about it:

“What are your hobbies?”

“What do you do for fun?”

“What are some of your hobbies or activities?”

“What do you enjoy doing?”

“What’s something you like to do?”

Stuff You’ll Make Conversation About

A lot of people don’t think about being on a date as an opportunity to talk about themselves—but it’s actually a great way to get to know someone—and you’ll learn a lot about your date by asking them questions about themselves:

How did they get into their current career?

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