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“This way you are absolutely not putting yourself into a situation where you’re going into this with the mind that it’s casual sex,” Emba told Mic. “You’re always aware of and prepared for what could happen… And I’ve had great experiences with this.” If you’re still planning to stick to sexual guidelines, there are lots of other ways you can prove you’re no casual — and you still have an excuse for a last-minute call if things don’t work out.
1. Know your limits with other people and yourself
To start off, realize that if casual sex with total strangers is what excites you, it probably means you’re not in a healthy relationship with your significant other. What are you willing to risk? Would you be willing to cheat on your spouse? If not, it’s not worth it to hook up with just anyone, ever, you’re just setting yourself up to be hurt in the long run.
2. Keep your porn trigger remote
Just like you don’t want to be triggering your significant other by feeding his or her “cushion fantasy” of being with a random, you don’t want to be arousing yourself by watching porn. While fetish fans can always find their other loves — say, with BDSM or non-penetrative sexual acts — it’s good to know that watching vixens get gang banged is not going to make you as aroused as being in the situation yourself.
3. Keep things clean
A clean slate is important — that is, if you want casual sex to really be casual. And that means no unprotected sex. “I always have a condom around,” Emba says. And don’t forget to use lube. “The last thing you want is the girl, or if it’s a guy, he slips and bruises himself,” Emba says.
4. Recognize a toxic situation
“You have to know, first of all, that casual sex is not, I think, the only way to really have fun with men,” Emba told Mic. “It is addictive and it can be good, but you have to be in a healthy relationship,” she says. If you’re about to have an alcohol- and drug-filled or otherwise poorly frought night and you know that’s the environment you’re in, don’t let it scare you off from having sex with someone else.
5. Don’t let
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